I just read a post of a poll taken of adoptees called 10 Things I Hate About Adoption. It’s much more than 10, which is of course fine. All I could think about was the pain these adoptees are feeling and how much open adoption could have at least more of a chance to fix the hurt, or even better, to have the hurt not happen in the first place. So I decided to come up with a list of things I love about OPEN adoption.
- Mack will grow up knowing who she is and where she came from, both biologically and not.
- Mack knows now and will continue to know that she is both loved and desperately wanted by her adoptive family (including extended family) AND her birth family.
- Mack will never experience the lies created by adoption agencies and her parents (if she was adopted in the era of closed adoptions) to make her feel better about being adopted.
- Mack will never have to create a fantasy biological family (as most adoptees that I’ve read about have) because she’ll have access to us.
- Mack will never be treated like a criminal for wanting to know about her biological origins.
- Mack’s parents & extended family will take what she’s been given biologically and spin it into something completely new, cool, and different. She will be a completely different person than she would’ve been had Nick & I raised her…but yet, the same.
- Mack will be able to take all of her nature and all of their nurture and combine it. The best of two worlds, so to speak.
- Mack will be able to know all of her biological extended family including her cousins should she choose to do so and when she does. She’ll not be “robbed” of family.
- I will hurt and wonder less about her than I would if I’d placed her in a closed adoption situation, so I will be able to do more healing than I would otherwise.
- My favorite: Nick and I not only get to see through pictures, emails and letters how well she’s thriving and how much she’s loved by her family, but we get to see her and love on her in person!
What about you? Anything to add to the list? What are your favorite things about open adoption?